Hey, remember when Member Noah brought up the question of cod in the bloodstream? Well I don't care if you do, I'm gonna reiterate it anyway! He asked if it would count as driving with cod in one's trousers if one eats some cod and the particles enter the bloodstream, specifically the legs and therefore into the trousers. Of course the implications of this would be staggering. I'm not sure why, since I've never met anybody who had ever eaten cod, but it would still be staggering. Well, to resolve the issue I just checked over the forum, and it would seem that common consensus, since we strive for a free and open democratic process as long as it goes along with what I want, is that FDLFDWCTT (Member Noah has brought it to my attention that a "the" in front of FDLFDWCTT would be grammatically incorrect, as it would be The Friends Don't Let Friends Drive With Cod in Their Trousers. Not that you probably care, I know I didn't, but I thought I'd tell you anyway) should be against eating cod on the grounds that it will inevitably get into the trousers and we all know what that means! No, not big stains! Well besides that, it means terrible danger if they go driving, and who wouldn't go driving after a nice big cod dinner, like, say, to the hospital.

Ok, the next issue was again brought up by Member Noah, and was again discussed in the forum, and concerned our motto. The argument was going hot and heavy there for a while, with Member Jennifer letting loose an uppercut of semi-colon validation, and Member Noah countering below the belt with a semi-colon usage loophole, then Member Ian wandered into the ring and bumped them with a Who the Hell Cares motto suggestion and some Latin, at which point Member Evie leapt in and walloped him with a Latin Motto Combo. Then, aside from some characteristic weirdness from Member Mike, the whole issue got dropped, which is good cause I was running out of boxing metaphors, but bad because there isn't any clear decision. I'm gonna arbitrarily say we stick with Save a Cod; Save a Life, cause there haven't been any other really good suggestions (sorry Evie, but while Latin is nice, it makes it hard to understand the motto, i.e. I don't know latin and therefore fear it.) Feel free to send in other suggestions to either the forum or me, though. As far as our anthem goes, nobody has sent in anything but Member Mike, who has sent me about thirty messages, only one of which was an anthem, however. Here it is, in all it's spell checked glory: (to be sung to the tune of the Star Spangled Banner, in case you couldn't tell) L
Ohsay can you see? I have no cod in my trousers! At least not when driving! Oh we're not against putting cod in your trousers at any other time it's just so much more dangerous when you're in a car. Oh say don't put that cod in your trousers aaannd driii-iive across the home of the brave and the land of the free.

And now we have a brand new feature, Adventures of Mike, Official College Student (his new title) and here's Episode One:
So a lot has happened in the last 24-hours. First off, at about 8:15pm last night there was a blackout for about :30 seconds. While this would cause no reaction other than students thinking the had just blinked for a really long time in cordova. It caused quite an uproar here at sonoma. I was watching t.v. and thought "oh no, not again" and if we knew why I had thought that the universe would be a better place(editor's note: Hitchiker's guide to the galaxy reference) when outside,the people were acting like chickens with their heads cut off (but with less blood). When the lights came back on a little later everyone was ok again and so the night was normal again (for awhile). At around 9:00, I know cause I was about to go watch "The X-files", the lights go off again. This time however, the don't come back on right away. This causes three general kinds of people. Class 1: the people who are still afraid of the dark and so are freaking out because "the monsters are going to get us!!!!!" (ok maybe they didn't say that)(but that's how they were acting) I mean come on they acted like they had never been in a blackout of anyy kind before. type b: was acting calm and not caring what was going on. this was me and my roommates none of us really cared what happened as long as it wasn't permanent, which we knew it wasn't because it was probably caused by a drunk who crashed into the power generater and caused the electricity to short out and so die(a little(very little) shakespere for you), which it was as we knew that's just how cool we were, and finally a group that I wouldn't belived exsisted if I hadn't heard them for myself. One fact I want to reiterate, and that is that Sonoma is a clothing optional campus. ok now that that is out of my system the third group was the people who were using the blackout to go running around saying they were naked. My favorite gorup was the group of I dont know how many who decided that this was the perfect (prefect?) time to go skinny dipping in the pool that is right next to a building where there is authority and which is approximatley 1000ft from my window. I heard these horny idiots saying "YEAH! SKINNY DIPPING POOL PARTY!(they were shouting) then you hear lots of hoots and girlish giggles as well as splashing and laughing. Then I heard one of the RSAs (important community advisor and saftey patrol) say "ok out of the pool!" To which the horny idiots(not a bad name for a band(Hello Seattle! We are The Horny Idiots(cheers, shouts, a general ruckus))) reply "but the campus is clothing optional." To which the RSA replyed "It's also quiet hours and you're being too loud, so out of the pool!" to which there were cries of protest from the horny idiots and a quiet and a supressed laugh from not horny and peacefully reading mike.(me) OK well then about 11:25 or so maybe just somewhere around 10:00 or something the power comes on full strength and thus scares the living(rather than dead?) crap out of half the residents of sonoma(including myself) who all jump up and  turn off the lights and climb back in bed and fall peacefully asleep. Well that was all that happened because of that and was something of signifigance that affected people other than myself(there are such creatures?)("I'm so hip I can barely see above my pelvis"-Zaphod Beeblebrox). The other stuff that was interesting and eventful was all connected in a slightly Seinfeld-ian way. OK it starts with that I have to take an English class as well as an English tutor both of which I get credit for. This just means that I go to english then sometime later go and talk to a tutor about what I supposedly learned.(it would be an easier class if I didn't have Yoda as a teacher("We meet on Friday. Yes?"-My english professor))(OK so he's just a burnt out hippie) Well I ask Professor Brunner where I'm supposed to go to get a tutor, and he tells me to go to the english department in Nichols 362. I thank him and go off to get a tutor.(tralala) I get to Nichols 362 and ask the lady there how I'm supposed to do to get an english tutor. She looks st me angrly, like I was dared to do this by a fraternity or something, and says "you don't." She proceeded to ask who said I could get a tutor in the english department office and I said how it was my english professor and she said that he was wrong and that I had to go to the library and talk to the people in the something department(I don't know I forget but it's right inside the door). So I go down the hall and rather than take the safe and non fearfilled stairs I take a ride in one of the schools many very frightening elevators.(quite a ride so enough creaking and snapping sounds to keep you just jumpy enough.) Well I land the elevator safely and get out and walk back the way I came to go to the library. I go in the library and set up an appointment and all goes smoothly. Then I go outside. Nothing happens no pianos fall on me or any other cartoon gags that I fear on a daily basis. I decide I'll cut through Darwin hall rather than go around the buildings and wasting my time in alot of walking. I decide to not go down the stairs and instead show my grace and cunning b jumping down off the cement block just before them. I land safely(needless to say completly shocked) and I'm about to go on when I notice m backpack is lying on the ground. Yep! you guessed it, I completly killed my backpack(no it's name wasn't named Kenny). So now I have to use the bag type thing andrew gave me until I get off my lazy arse and go buy another backpack.(not that the bag thing isn't cool, I just want to use it for travel). Well that's all or atleast enough for now! If anything else happens that is exciting happens I'll be sure to forc... gently ask andrew if he would be so kind as to put them in the newsletter. see ya! Oh Yeah, one last thing. I am not totally exempt from looking or acting like an idiot. Well at least being scared by an every day object. During the 2nd blackout before my roommate Patrick fell asleep I was trying to let m eyes adjust to the darkness by not turning on my flashlight. Well this caused one problem. I was looking around and looked down the hall where I know the only thing that is there is the bathroom and that on the bathroom door is a full length mirror, I see another dark figure and not the wall that I usually see. Again this is when my eyes are still adjusting so I don't know if that's part of the dark or if it's just an after image left behind of the bathroom. I stare at it to make the after image go away and nothing happens. Now I have never seen anything come out of the ; mirror and kill anyone(yet) and I know that it is (most likely) impossible but still I see this dark figure with something in their right hand. I have to to be sure that I'm totally safe(I know "Chicken!! Bawk bawk bawk! yyeah so what?) I turn on my flashlight and see that it's only me and start to laugh to which my roommate Pat asks "What's so funny?" to which I say something to the effect of "I just was scared of my own reflection." We both laughed and he went to sleep. I didn't because I wanted to learn what would happen later that night. But you already know all that. OK now that's the end. most deffinetly. yep I've finished. without a doubt. Ok, that's made this newsletter a lot longer (a lot funnier, too) so I think I'll let Heywood finish it up now by saying "She is neither fish, nor flesh, nor good red herring."